As big as little country, Viva la IKEA!!

I've never been to Europe. Never had chocolate in Switzerland, beer in Germany (Root Beer, of course), baguettes in France, or pasta in Italy. Yet I've had an experience that I can only gather to be the next best thing; an outing to IKEA!! Surrounded by Euro loveliness of bold pattern design, mini living quarters, and fun words to say like Ektorp and Barnslig; it was like a mini-vacation right in Draper. . .with CHILD CARE INCLUDED!! Yowza! I imagine a trip to Europe would be overwhelming to my senses, trying to take in all the wonderful surrounding scenes and feeling like it was all meant for me! That I would instantaneously feel like I've found at least part of myself. I would be longing to take in more than my short trip would allow, and I would be left yearning for my next chance to return! This is exactly how I felt at IKEA. With the bonus of David Bowie, Michael Jackson,and Billy Idol playing in the background, it is ubsurdly fulfilling to the senses! It is an uber fantastical place! (I made up that word) The antithesis of Tai Pan, where you go to find just the right items to make it look like a T.G.I.Friday's threw up all over your house, IKEA is stacked full of clean lines, durability, and modern yet classic design! More than just items to spruce your home with, or make it look exactly like all your neightbors, it has functionality and form. The closet organization section on it's own is orgasmic! In fact, just when I thought I was at a low in my sexual drive, I walked into IKEA, and found I was feeling just fine. So perfect place for a date night, plus they have a cafeteria where you sample all kinds of different European foods! Take your kids, make it like a "learning experience" where they can travel the world for different flavors. Then throw them in CHILD CARE (it deserves capitals) and shop, shop, shop! Obviously my trip was fulfilling, made even more so by the fact that I was with my sister Becky, and it was her birthday. She kept screaming at me "WHY HAVEN'T YOU BROUGHT ME HER BEFORE? I WANT EVERYTHING!" She even put up with my dancing in the store and me texting my favorite European. Thanks IKEA, I'll be back soon!