As big as little country, Viva la IKEA!!

I've never been to Europe. Never had chocolate in Switzerland, beer in Germany (Root Beer, of course), baguettes in France, or pasta in Italy. Yet I've had an experience that I can only gather to be the next best thing; an outing to IKEA!! Surrounded by Euro loveliness of bold pattern design, mini living quarters, and fun words to say like Ektorp and Barnslig; it was like a mini-vacation right in Draper. . .with CHILD CARE INCLUDED!! Yowza! I imagine a trip to Europe would be overwhelming to my senses, trying to take in all the wonderful surrounding scenes and feeling like it was all meant for me! That I would instantaneously feel like I've found at least part of myself. I would be longing to take in more than my short trip would allow, and I would be left yearning for my next chance to return! This is exactly how I felt at IKEA. With the bonus of David Bowie, Michael Jackson,and Billy Idol playing in the background, it is ubsurdly fulfilling to the senses! It is an uber fantastical place! (I made up that word) The antithesis of Tai Pan, where you go to find just the right items to make it look like a T.G.I.Friday's threw up all over your house, IKEA is stacked full of clean lines, durability, and modern yet classic design! More than just items to spruce your home with, or make it look exactly like all your neightbors, it has functionality and form. The closet organization section on it's own is orgasmic! In fact, just when I thought I was at a low in my sexual drive, I walked into IKEA, and found I was feeling just fine. So perfect place for a date night, plus they have a cafeteria where you sample all kinds of different European foods! Take your kids, make it like a "learning experience" where they can travel the world for different flavors. Then throw them in CHILD CARE (it deserves capitals) and shop, shop, shop! Obviously my trip was fulfilling, made even more so by the fact that I was with my sister Becky, and it was her birthday. She kept screaming at me "WHY HAVEN'T YOU BROUGHT ME HER BEFORE? I WANT EVERYTHING!" She even put up with my dancing in the store and me texting my favorite European. Thanks IKEA, I'll be back soon!

The Salt State of Denim Affairs. . .it's a Do!

Utah seems to have a trend of commonality, maybe even a clone-ish (I made that word up)mentality. So much so that the pic of you and your BFF’s ruling the school in Junior High, will look a lot like other girl’s pics from Logan to St. George. While this theme of everyone in this state looking a lot alike is something we’ll revisit, let us first remember back to junior high and that unforgettable picture day!

When you and your girlfriends strategically put together a fully coordinating ensemble to capture the solidarity and awesomeness of your crew! Such ensembles had to be carefully selected so as to reflect your cutting edge fashion sense whilst tastefully coordinating with all your BFF’s . In a time when mastering your handwriting skills, folding your notes with the skill set of an origami master, and deciding between Pepsi Clear and the original Pepsi were the tasks to be dealt with, staying on the cusp of fashion was beyond most of us. Instead, we fell prey to following the local fashion follies of the period. While the matching polo shirts in a range of colors (navy blue and forest green leading the palette), were a favorite choice, no ensemble of the day could compete with the dynamic denim head-to-toe combo. Finished off with a braided belt and some sweet Doc Martens, it was tops! Found often in family pictures, with a variance of the occasional khaki pant, no ensemble could compete while this denim –do reigned in its glory days!

Before you run to dig through your junior high memory box and scoff in jest “Oh my gosh!!! I can’t believe we wore that!!” you might want to hold your tongue and get ready to rock out to Aerosmith’s later hits and Dr. Dre’s freshman ones. That’s right ladies, Denim is on it’s way back, and this time from a higher authority! In the May 2009 issue of Elle, the them is to “Dream a little Jean”, and I have no doubt that resistance is futile! I’m certain the gals of the beehive state will be thrilled in no time to rock their denim jackets and the second-coming of stone and acid washed jeans!

To ring in this “new” trend that probably died out in the Beehive State still kicking and screaming (it may even have still have a faint pulse), it’s contest time!!

So run to your hope chests and scrapbooks, or to the family photos gracing the walls of your parents house and find whatever picture showcases the fantastically horrific trend that was the early 90’s craze of the denim exrtravaganza!! Send in your pic, and they will be judged and posted for the amusement of all! The winner will receive an awesome denim scrunchie!! That’s right people, a scrunchie! Any submissions of denim weddings will automatically receive some sort of wonderful runner-up prize! So go, and send me your pics and check back for the denim wall of shame and or fame!! In the future, let’s all hope for better contest prizes, in the meantime, if you want to donate something fitting, let me know! Ie, a Salt-n-Pepper CD or some sweet vintage Girbaud’s jeans.

It's about time, or lack thereof!

Wow. My day, or my week rather is best summed up in that one word. Better summed up in my father's key phrase, "Yowza!" Because it has been more than just a wow week. You can say "wow" with little or no inflection, as a response to the mundane. But "Yowza!" that must be said with delivery! With intensity! I can't even type it without following it with an exclamation point. In fact, if a word was ever going to have punctation permanently associated with it, it would be "Yowza (exclamation point here at all times)!" So I'm not going to get into the events of my week just yet. For the time being, let's leave it at "Yowza!" I will say though, that on the eve of my 29th birthday, being broke, incredibly single, jobless, and in reading what I just wrote, a little depressed, I will not let a "Yowza!" week or anything else keep me from doing what I've always said I would do. Write. So this is my christening post, with many more to follow. Don't worry, they'll be a lot funnier in the future.

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson